sweet friends. a few weeks ago abbey + i toyed with the idea of adding baby sitting into her job description. i mean january is a slow month for us so she’s not slammed. so today i was able to hit up starbucks for a few hours and just breathe. i planned to do a swaddle review post, since we’ve had so many people ask which ones are our favorites + such. but while i was running up the stairs to grab the fifth shirt of the day for magnolia (at 10a) i saw my bible + prayer journal sitting on the night stand. i knew my heart was in a weird place and the Lord was urging me to slow down for a minute. you see my prayer journal, that i love love using, was still sitting there empty. the year started ten days ago, and i should’ve been better prepared.
last night as i was reading a woman after God’s own heart i felt super convicted. i haven’t been my best self, actually nowhere even close. i literally just started the book, after telling someone i would start it weeks ago. and if we’re being honest, only because i know she’s going to ask me this week if i have started it.
this is not a pity post, so don’t worry you don’t have to feel sorry for me. i felt like i should add that. haha
okay back to business. she references psalm 32:8 – I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
y’all. He is the best even when we are our worst. i’ve been fighting myself trying to make everything work out. i don’t know if you know this but mommin ain’t easy. i have all these weird feeling all the time. a baby whose spit up game is so strong (read fifth shirt). a business that’s coming out of an odd year (an honestly not our best). i don’t know what i’m doing as a grown up. i’m often catching myself being a butthole wife. our house has been on the market for WAY too long (i fought the urge to shamelessly attach the listing to it). i have neglected my friends. i felt attacked on instagram last week because i take my daughter to target. i worry i’m not benefiting our household at all. i still have too much baby weight. i worry i may not be a great example for magnolia.
but mostly, i haven’t been diligent in my walk. i’ve neglected the one who takes care of me. the one who provided for my eternity. the one who will instruct me and teach me the way i should go, counsel me with His loving eye. sure i pray, a lot really, but it’s generally in a moment of wanting. since having magnolia, i haven’t been in the word everyday. i’ve struggled to find what my new quiet time is. six months ago i woke up when i wanted, spent an hour in the word +/or prayer, took a shower, and went about my business. over the past few weeks i’ve felt a pulling (yes, we call that the Holy Spirit) to find that new normal. i need to be in the word. i need Him to guide me, Lord knows i can’t do any of this alone. how on earth am i actually suppose to be a good example for my daughter without Him?
so what’s my rambling point anyways? my point is, as a follower of Christ we can’t do this alone. we need Him, we need to be in His word. i know i’m a hot mess of insane (if you saw me at starbucks today i appreciate you not telling me i need a shower + makeup), but i feel like i’m not alone. so call this a cliché “i see you sista (brother)” post. but for real, i’m just going to leave you some scripture that i fall on. maybe you needed it, maybe you just need it to hold me accountable. whatevs, scripture is always good.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. – psalm 32:8
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. – philippians 4:6
This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. – joshua 1:9
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” – Matthew 6:25-27
“I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.” – Psalm 16:8
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” –
2 corinthians 12:9
so here’s what i’m feeling. if you don’t mind, hold me accountable. and these are just a few go to verses. i’d love to hear what your favorites are.